I was always so quiet and scared, like a ghost,
like I was a figment of someone’s imagination.
But these past few months, Ben realized he
didn’t like me being gone.
He’d gone out with his friends, looking for
something to fill the hole I’d left.
And there were others who looked even more
like April than Chloe.
But it was just pointless.
Even April had faded from his mind.
He was starting to think about me.
<
I had always been shy, afraid to look at him.
And when I smiled, I had two cute dimples.
I was really pretty, with my white skin.
Now that he really thought about it, Ben had
been really physical with me for four years, and
he never got tired of me.
He hadn’t touched Chloe these past few
months.
Last night, he had dreamed of me, a really
steamy dream.
Ben suddenly told his driver, “Stop at the flower
shop.”
He bought a bunch of red roses.
That night, he bought me a red dress.
<
I looked amazing in red.
He decided he was going to make things right,
with flowers and a dress, and bring me home.
12
I settled into my new life.
Liam had started a business after college.
His office was in the city, so he was always
busy.
But he came back every weekend to see me.
The woman next door would smile at me.
“Sarah, Liam is so in love with you.”
“The other day you were watering your flowers
and he was standing there pouring tea, but he
didn’t even notice he’d filled it up.”
<
She laughed, “Liam is almost thirty and he
doesn’t have a wife, why don’t you two get
married?”
“You guys used to play house, and Liam always
wanted you to be his bride.”
Liam was so good to me.
Even better than when we were kids.
I wasn’t dumb.
I knew what was happening.
“I’m useless, I never went to college, I don’t have a good job.”
“Liam is so smart, his wife should be smart
too.”
I smiled, thinking of how Ben always kept me
from his important gatherings.
<
I thought about how the Bakers didn’t like me.
I didn’t even have a right to raise my own son.
If I’d grown up with my family, I would’ve gone to college and gotten a good job.
Maybe I wouldn’t have failed so badly.
I was better off alone.
“That’s not true.”
Liam’s voice came from the other side of the
fence.
The sun was setting. He was dressed in white
and black.
He was handsome, with his strong features.
The silent, skinny boy was now a tall, strong
man
<
He could protect the people he loved.
“Sarah, you are amazing, don’t think so little of
yourself.”
“Really?”
I looked at Liam, confused.
If I was so great, then why didn’t my family, my
husband, or my son love me?
“Of course.”
Liam came into the yard.
“Everyone is important. They just didn’t see it.”
But I just didn’t believe it.
Liam used simple words to make me see it.
“You’re good with flowers, they grow bigger
<
“And you help Ms. Kim with her back pain, she
feels a lot better.”
“And when I stayed late at work, you helped me
with my papers. You made my job so much
easier.”
“I can talk about how great you are for three
days and nights.”
Liam smiled. Ms. Kim laughed, “I can talk about
it for three hours.”
My bad mood was gone.
That night, I told Liam about Ben.
I even told him about Ethan.
Liam was silent for a long time.
He drove back to the city.
<
I heard his car pull away. I was calm.
I’d split from so many people.
It was nothing new.
I was about to fall asleep, when I heard a car
pull up.
