What is Wrong with Me?
Emory
As I eat my dinner, I contemplate whether or not I am letting myself get carried away with the feelings I am developing for Kane. I have heard about women becoming obsessed with their captors before, but it doesn’t seem like he is my captor. On the contrary, in many ways, it seems like he is my savior.
I sit at the table in the little dining area, eating a nicely prepared game hen, as well as several sides, and wonder whether this is what they are eating in the dining room tonight as well or if this is especially prepared for me. Last night, I hardly ate anything since I was so nervous, but tonight, I am practically swallowing my meal whole. I am glad to see I also have a slice of chocolate cake. Perhaps it is easier for me to eat without goblets of blood sitting everywhere.
Helga and Nellie are in the room, but I think their cleaning is really more just to keep me company. They meander around, dusting things, moving items from one spot to another, not really doing anything. I should probably tell them they can go, but I don’t find the words just yet as I am considering asking Nellie a question I think she might know the answer to since she has known Kane for so long.
Yet, at the same time, I am nervous to ask because I don’t want her to know how I am feeling….
“Your head looks better, Princess,” Nellie says with a smile. “I’m glad you healed so nicely.”
“Thank you,” I tell her. “That nap helped tremendously. I still don’t know what I might’ve done if you hadn’t gotten help when you did.”
She shrugs and her face turns a bit pink. “It’s nothing, dear. I’m just glad I was able to help.”
I smile at her. She seems like the sort of person I can confide in. I’m not cure about Helga, but she’s on the other side of the room and might not even be paying attention. She seems very interested in the books on a shell there, and I think she might be sorting them by color or something.
With a deep breath, I say, “Nellie, can ask you something?”
“Well, of course you can, dear,” she says with a friendly grin. “I might not know the answer, but I’ll do my best.”
I use my foot to push back the chair across from me and invite her to sit down. My shin is still a little sore, but I’ll live.
Nellie looks hesitant to sit down on the job, but she does so. “What is it, Princess?”
“Well… this may seem like an odd question, and I won’t try to explain my reasons for asking, so I hope you won’t try to guess them.”
She shakes her head slowly with a shrug, an inclination that she won’t.” Go ahead, please.”
“Well….” I say again and try to regain my composure so I won’t sound silly. “I was just wondering… King Kane?” I pause, as if she might not know who I am talking about and wait for her to nod. “Is it… uhm… typical for all of the women who are in his presence, I mean, that see him. Or work with him–for him–that stay here….” I sigh and take a deep breath before I begin again, “Do most women like him?”
I hear a snicker from across the room and turn my head toward Helga, but she looks innocent as she is moving books about on the shelf.
When I return my attention to Nellie, she is also smiling at me. “Do you mean is it common for women to be attracted to His Majesty?”
“Yes, I suppose that’s what I’m asking, but I don’t just mean women who’ve worked here for a while, or visiting dignitaries who think they
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might have an opportunity to marry him, or something like that. I guess what I’m asking is, does it tend to happen quickly and without explanation?”
“I don’t know if I’m qualified to say how quickly it happens for most, dear, but I do think most women who spend much time at all in the presence of the king tend to catch some sort of feelings for him. I don’t suppose it’s without reason, either. Not only is he a strikingly handsome man, he is a good man as well. He cares about his people, does his best to keep them safe and provide for them, all of that sort of thing. He’s intelligent and brave. Honestly, what is there not to like? Even Helga’s been known to swoon a little when she catches His Majesty without a shirt.”
“I’ve never!” Helga says, but I see a twinkle of truth in her eyes.
Nellie and I giggle at the statement before she continues. “I’m not saying that you are developing feelings for the king, dear, but if you are, I wouldn’t think it too shocking. You have been through a traumatic time these past couple of days, and he has been there to help you. No, I wouldn’t find it odd at all.”
I take a deep breath, glad to hear her assessment of the situation. That does make me feel a bit more like I’m sane, that I’m not losing my mind.
“What does surprise me,” she continues, gaining my full attention at once, “is how quickly he seems to have become smitten with you.”
My eyes nearly bulge from their sockets and my mouth drops open. “Wh -what?” I ask her, and Nellie giggles again, a mischievous look in her
eyes.
“Careful now!” Helga warns from across the room. “Don’t go saying things you can’t take back, Nellie.”
“Oh, hush!” Nellie says, swatting a hand at her coworker. “I’m not saying I think he’s ready to call the wedding off or anything, but I have noticed
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the way he looks at you. The way he checks on your well–being, the way he… dawdles.‘
“Dawdles?” I repeat, not sure what she means.
“Yes, he’s a busy man with an entire kingdom to care for, yet he has more time for you than anyone else I’ve ever known him to spend time with.” She shrugs. “That has to mean something.”
I’m not sure what to say to that. It seems like I’ve hardly spent any time with him at all. Surely, he spends more time with Rainer than me. But then, that’s got to be for work.
“He put Clark on room arrest, where he still sits, after hundreds of years of service to the family. Granted, this isn’t the first time Clark has made a major mistake, so it might just be the last straw, but… I think if it had been someone else, perhaps the king would not have acted so swiftly,” Nellie says.
“You don’t know that, Nellie! Quit speculating.” Helga comes over to join us but doesn’t sit down. Instead, she stands with her arms folded behind Nellie.
Since I don’t know what to say or do, I decide to start eating my cake.
Nellie isn’t done yet, though. “He also got rid of those three guards who assaulted you yesterday. I am shocked about that as well. Not that they didn’t deserve it, but generally speaking, the king can’t be bothered with that sort of business. He has far too many other tasks to tend to.”
I am confused by what she means. ‘Got rid of?” I repeat. “What are you talking about?”
“He had them executed,” Helga says in a matter–of–fact tone that almost has me choking on my cake.
“Executed?” I repeat as soon as I can speak. I take a drink of my water,
a better choice than my wine at the moment. “Really?”
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Helga and Nellie both nod. “Yes, this morning. He has the new jailor interviewing the other feeders to see if they can identify anyone else who may have taken advantage of them over the years. He wants the place cleaned up now, thanks to you.‘
I am glad to hear it, but I am sad that it is because of me. I also don’t know what to think of those three men being killed. They do deserve it; my rational mind knows that. But… it’s too much for me to process at the moment. I’m just thankful they’ll never be able to hurt anyone else. I can only imagine what they must’ve been doing to the feeders who were too weak to fight back.
That night, when I go to bed, dressed in a pair of boy shorts and a camisole in a light blue, I can’t help but think about how I was sitting right here when Kane kissed me. I wish he were here now, that his arms were around me. Even with Nellie’s assessment of the situation, that I’m not being silly for having feelings for him, and that he may be interested in me as well, I can’t help but think it’s too soon.
My whole life, I’ve grown up believing in the mate bond, that the Moon Goddess has one person destined for each of us. If it’s true that I could fall in love with Kane so quickly, then how can that be the case? He can’t possibly be my mate–he’s not a wolf.
I close my eyes, hoping I will dream of him. If I can’t be with him in real life, then a dream is the next best thing.
***
Kane
Dinner is abysmal. I can’t wait for it to end. Opal spends the whole evening talking about wedding plans. My eyes keep flickering to Emory’s empty seat. The Duchess of Heartstone had wanted to sit there, but I wouldn’t allow it. The woman who joked about her last night and all of those who laughed are gone, so there are plenty of empty
chairs. But that one belongs to Emory now and will remain empty until she reclaims it–whenever she is comfortable enough to do so.
After the meal, I take a stroll around the gardens, noting that Opal is right about one thing. The rose garden does look lovely bied in direct moonlight. The moon isn’t full, but it’s still bright, and it makes me wish I weren’t standing here alone.
I should go to bed. I should lock myself in my room and stay as far away from the feeder as possible. If move on instinct and go to her now, nothing good can come of it. She’s only been here two days–not even–and she will grow to hate me for taking advantage of her.
But I know she wants me, too. I felt it in her kiss, can see it in her gaze.
As my feet begin to move of their own accord, I know I can no longer fight the craving I have for her, and this feeling has nothing at all to do with her blood. It’s not the crimson liquid that flows through Emory’s body I want
It’s her–completely and irrevocably.
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