Chapter 15
Chapter 35
Calch
“And then she asked if we could still be friends even after I told her I had no interest in meeting her again. Can you believe it?” Jeremy asks Leah while I try not to roll my eyes.
It’s obvious that he is trying to impress her, but knowing Leah, he won’t be impressed by Jeremy ditching ladies. She is way too mature to develop an interest in a man just because he is “wanted” by many.
“Have you ever dated anyone someone like that?” Jeremy looks at Leah expectantly. They are sitting right in front of me in their own plush seats, and Leah’s eyes immediately travel to mine before she averts them.
“I’ve only had one serious relationship.” She mumbles in a hurt tone. “Or at least I thought it was serious.”
It pains me to hear her voice because Leah is obviously talking about us. While she and I can both feel the awkward tension on the plane, Jeremy is oblivious to it. He keeps smiling like a fool.
“Oh really?” he grins. “What happened? Did you dump him? Wait, let me guess…” a laugh leaves his stupid mouth. “You dated someone younger, and they were too immature for you? Well, guess what? I’m three years older than you and definitely ready for commitment”
– I grit my teeth, my hands clenching the armrests as I fight the urge to punch Jeremy square in his smug face. The last thing I
need is him making a move on Leah right in front of me. Should I poison his drink?
Leah shifts uncomfortably in her seat, her expression one of mental torture. “Actually, he was older than me. A lot older. actually,” she doesn’t say that part like it’s a bad thing even though I’m nineteen years older. “And he wasn’t the immature one in the relationship. I was.”
Is that really how she feels?
H
Leah looks down at her hands that are resting on top of her shaking legs. Is she nervous?
I cock my head to the side, listening intently as Leah continues speaking. “I was in love with him–I still am, yet I accused him of cheating on me when I should have trusted him. I let my insecurities get the best of me and ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.”
My heart clenches at her confession. I want nothing more than to walk over to her seat and lift her up into a big hug. My fingers are practically begging me to touch her, and my heart needs her to know that she didn’t ruin anything–I’m the one who messed up by getting angry.
Jeremy, however, seems to take Leah’s vulnerability as an opening. He leans closer, his voice dripping with false sympathy “He sounds like a fool for not treasuring a woman like you. If you were mine, I’d never give you a reason to doubt me.”
Leah’s eyes flicker to mine for the briefest of moments before she looks away again. “That’s very kind of you to say, Jeremy but I think I need some time to myself right now”
“Nonsense,” his grin makes a comeback. this guy, to begin with?”
u were
at you need is a man like me in your life:Also, how much older than you!
Leah hesitates, and at first, I expect her to lie and say the guy she dated wasn’t that much older. But then her lips curl into a mischievous smile.
“He was nineteen y
years
older than me.”
19:16 Sat, Feb 1 B
Chapter as
Jeremy almost chokes. “Nineteen years older? Holy shit! That’s e–He stares at me. “No offense, sir, but that’s the same age difference you two have! Jesus. That’s so fucking crazy. The gary was a dinosaur compared to you!”
While my pride is forever shattered, Leal doesn’t look bothered at all.
“Thirty–seven hardly counts as being a dinosaur. Besides, the guy I was dating was way better looking than me. He was aging like a fine wine and had… She blushes. “Really long eyelashes.”
Jeremy squints at her. “Really long eyelashes?”
She nods. “That and the body of a Greek God.”
Jeremy stares at Leah in disbelief, his eyes widening. “Wow, sounds like you were really into this guy, huh? Despite the massive age difference.”
Massive age difference–okay, that one stung to hear.
I know that I’m a lot older than Leah–I’m not an idiot–but it never bothered me, not until I heard Jeremy’s tone. Now, I finally realize that it’s selfish of me to propose to Leah.
Because while I’m ready to settle down and find my forever, Leah might be too young for that. The little author might think she is ready to spend the rest of her life with me since I’m her first love, but she will regret it later because there will come a day when I’m no longer young and she still has her whole life aliead of her.
I mean, what if I end up in a wheelchair way before her? That would complicate traveling and….fuck.
What if she marries me and then grows to resent me because she never had the time to travel alone?
What if she later in life will be depressed because she never had the chance to be wild, young, and free and, frankly, never had the opportunity to sleep around?
what if children aren’t on her agenda?
I mean, I don’t know if I want to try again after losing my daughter, but if I want children, it better happen sooner than later since I’m already thirty–seven–I will be close to sixty when my kid is twenty!
Fuck, my thoughts never went that deep. The reason why is probably that I was too blinded by my feelings for Leah to think about what a future with her would mean.
Cleared. Now I see that proposing to her would be a fat mistake, no matter But now that we are split up, it’s like the fog has how much I love her. She deserves better than to have her youth stolen by a man nearly two decades her senior.
Leah, seemingly oblivious to my internal crisis, just shrugs at Jeremy’s comment. “Age is just a number. When you connect with someone on a deep level, those superficial things don’t matter as much. What we had was real.”
Sweet little Leah. She speaks with such conviction, such certainty, that it makes my heart ache. How can Llet her go. knowing she feels this way? I don’t want to, that’s for damn sure. But the rational part of my brain knows I have, for her own good.
With a heavy feeling in my heart, I put in my earphones and block out my own emotions and the rest of Jeremy and Leah’s
conversation.
The music fills my ears, and I make a plan that, once we land, I will down myself in a bottle to get over Leah. And then, once I’m done feeling sorry for myself, I will focus on work. Who needs Leah when my job is my one true love? Certainly not me. I will be fine on my own.
19:16 Sat, Feb 1 B
Chapter 35
My company is my life, or so I tell myself as I disembark from the plane, deliberately avoiding Leah’s gaze. I can feel her eyes on me–questioning and filled with hurt–but I steel myselfagainst the pull of her. This is for the best.
Goodbye, Leah.
E
