Chapter 79
Chapter 79
Leah
692
Caleb and I spend a month in Sweden trying to get to know each other. It doesn’t go that well. Caleb’s job requires him to answer his phone multiple times a day, and then, when shit goes flown at his company, he needs to lock himself up in a room to actually do work on his laptop.
I don’t mind. I’m just bored. That’s why I don’t say no when Calb asks me if I want to fly back to the States with him. I miss our real home, and I can’t stay in Sweden forever, or I won’t be allowed to fly. Heavily pregnant women shouldn’t be up in the air, and so we book the tickets. Business ‘class since I want to see people. Caleb is busy with work, so umm, yeah, no private jets here.
The only problem, however, is that the pregnancy is making me act weird. Anxiety is brewing within me, and I bite my lip nervously. Caleb is typing up a storm beside me, and I don’t want to disturb him, but damn. I think I’m close to having a panic attack!
“Leah?” Caleb asks in a concerned voice. “Are you okay? You’re breathing weird.”
“I’m.. I’m fine.” I don’t want to worry him, so I give him a big smile, hoping he can’t tell it’s the fakest one in the history of fake smiles.
Caleb, however, is no fool. His eyes narrow in that telltale way of him knowing I’m not being honest.
“That so?”
“Yup.”
“So you’re totally fine and just shaking because
I grip the handrest with my clammy hands and turn my head to Jock eyes with him. “Okay, fine. I’m… I’m a little nervous about flying.”
Caleb closes his laptop. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything!”
“Uh, yes? We could have arranged for a private jet.”
“It’s not about the type of plane, though. I just…what if something happens to the babies? What if the plane just randomly falls from the sky?”
“Planes don’t just randomly crash.”
After he has spoken that sentence, sudden turbulence occurs and I shriek like a frightened mouse. “Caleb, I’m scared!” Caleb winces and quickly reaches over to take my hand. “Hey, it’s okay. That was just a little turbulence. Totally normal.”
My knuckles are already turning white from how hard I’m squeezing his poor, moisturized hand. “Normal? That didn’t feel
normal!”
“I promise you, it is,” I’m impressed by how calm Caleb is even with me digging my nails into his skin. “Planes encounter air pockets all the time.”
19:07 Sal, Feb
Chapter 79
“O–okay. If you say so.
Caleb smiles, but then another bout of turbulence hits, stronger his time. I let out a small yelp when the whole plane shakes. A few other passengers gasp, and that makes it even harder to stay calmn, I squeeze Caleb’s hand and look at him.
“I don’t like this. What if the plane will crash?”
“It won’t crash,” Caleb promises. “Just take deep breaths. In and cut, nice and slow.”
I follow his instructions, but my heart is still racing. “I can’t do this, Caleb. I’m freaking out!”
Caleb’s face falls. “Shit, you really do look pale…” A sigh leaves his lips. “Okay, this is what we are going to do: we are going to take your mind off the turbulence.”
“How do we do that?!”
“I’m trying to figure that out… Any chance you know what might help you take your mind off things?”
The plane shakes, and I blurt out, “Hugs and body heat! Preferably skin–to–skin hugs!”
Caleb silently gasps, making me regret what I just said. Of course he gasped. He probably thinks I’m fucking weird for asking for skin–to–skin contact on a plane filled with people. Also we still haven’t shared a bed, so yeah…this is unexpected for him.
I expect Caleb to turn me down politely, which he will do if he doesn’t like the thought of getting intimate with me. He is too much of a gentleman to be mean, but surprisingly, Caleb glances around at the other passengers as if plotting inside his head. Then, when he looks back at me, he wears a determined expression.
Trustine.” “Alright,” he says quietly. “If that’s what you need, I will fix. Trust me.”
He reaches up and hits the call button for the flight attendant. When she arrives, he speaks to her in a low voice. I can’t make out what he’s saying, which is a shame since she hurries off as if he gave her the most important task on earth. Seriously, she‘ ran like a cheetah!
“What did you tell her?” I ask.
“I asked if there were any more luxurious seats available,” Caleb explains. “Ones with more privacy.”
My eyes widen. “And?”
Just then, the flight attendant returns. She leans down and speak softly to Caleb, who nods and thanks her.
“Good news,” he says, turning back to me. “There are a couple of first–class suites available. They have lie–flat beds and privacy screens. Would that help you feel more comfortable?”
My heart warms. “That sounds perfect.”
We gather our things and follow the flight attendant to the first–class cabin. I’m very happy with it since there’s a privacy screen that can be pulled across the entrance
“Will this do?” Caleb asks as we settle in.
I look around, already feeling calmer in the more enclosed space “Yes, this is much better. Thank you.”
Caleb smiles, but the confidence on his face vanishes with his next question. “So…about that skin–to–skin contact. How do
Chapter 79
you want to do this?”
I blush, suddenly feeling shy, “Um, maybe we could just lie down together? Coul you, umm
My face burns even more since Caleb is watching me intently. Lerd, why does he have to be so hot and gorgeous? It’s making me even more nervous to ask this of him. And yes, I know we are getting married, but we haven’t hugged, and especially not naked, so I feel extremely awkward asking this of him, but I need it more than my next breath
“C–could you hold me?” I stammer.
Caleb’s eyes widen slightly. I don’t think he expected me to ask this of him, but to my relief, his charming trademark smile curls his lips a second later.
“If that’s what you want.”
He starts unbuttoning his shirt, and I feel my face flush even hater. I hadn’t really considered the logistics of this.
“Um, should I…?” I gesture vaguely at my own clothes.
Caleb pauses, his shirt half–unbuttoned. It reveals his skin, which still has a weak tan despite being cold during our entire stay in Sweden. “Only if you’re comfortable with that. We can start with just me shirtless if you prefer.”
“Y–yeah.. Let’s start with that.”
Caleb finishes removing his shirt and settles onto the lie–flat bed. He opens his arms to me. “Come here.”
Even though this is a man whose babies I’m carrying. I still feel nervous climbing onto the bed. We haven’t been physical with each other due to his amnesia, and I’m terrified he is going to think I’m fat and ugly during my pregnancy.
It’s not just the extra pounds. It’s the fact that instead of a pregnancy glow, I’m having a pregnancy glow down. There’s acne on my skin, stretchmarks on my belly, and small, little red bumps on my arms and legs. When I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror yesterday, I even saw cellulite on the back of my thick thighs. I feel like a troll
And no, if you think it’s just me being ugly while pregnant, you’re wrong. A lot of women–me included–hate being pregnant because it’s like our bodies just give up on us. Our noses get huge. Our hips get wide, and our feet swell to impossible sizes. It’s terrible!
However, don’t mistake me hating my pregnancy for thinking it isn’t worth it. Hell no. Being pregnant will be worth it once I’m holding our babies, but that doesn’t mean I have to LOVE being pregnant, and that’s OKAY.
The problem, though, is that I’m afraid all of these things will scire Caleb away. Like, what if he runs his fingers over a cellulite and thinks I’m disgusting?
That mindset got me fighting not to flee the scene. Believe me, I want to, but I also crave Caleb’s touch, and when the plane has another one of those “dolphin flips,” I shriek and practically fly into his arms.
Caleb’s arms wrap around me instantly, pulling me close against his warm chest.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmurs, one hand sliding underneath my shirt to draw little circles directly on my skin. “I’ve got you.” “Don’t let go!” I speak into his chest while hyperventilating, too shaken to care about being nervous.
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