Chapter 115
Ethan’s words are a statement, not a question, and my heart speeds up when I find him studying my face. It’s obvious that he is expecting me to say something, and while old Freya from a few days ago would deny it and tell him the goosebumps on my skin are from Maddie’s apartment being colder than Antarctica, not a word comes out
I think it’s because I’m tired–tired of fighting this warm emotion inside me. It’s like warm, soapy bubbles that tickle in my chest every time I’m near Ethan.
I like him
Sudden tears burn behind my eyelids, and I whisper, “Is that so bad?” I can’t believe how hoarse I sound. But it is to be expected. Opening myself like this isn’t easy.
I wet my lips, quickly taking the word before Ethan could even think of saying something. “I like you, and no, the reason for me hesitating to make a move isn’t just your age or your position. It’s deeper than that.”
“Deeper!”
Oh wow, he really is asking me to cut my head open, huh? Doesn’t he realize its taking the every ounce of self–control vulnerable? I’m already shaking and on the verge of running away to lock myself up in the bathroom, but Ethan holds my foot in an iron grip.
10 show m
myself this
“Explain the deeper part.” he says softly.
Begrudgingly, I lift my eyes to his. “I’m newly divorced, and although not to fall into that dark pit, the place where I just cry endlessly.
Etban is still studying my face. “Are you not over him?”
h Clark never felt for me what I felt for him, I’m..” I have to take a deep breath
I can’t help but laugh at that question. “You don’t think I’m over him! Jesus, Ethan,” I smile, but it’s a sad smile. “I’m more than over him. It’s just that that I opened up to him. I wasn’t afraid of being myself, and when he cheated on me with my sister, or whatever the fuck Jayla is, he took something from me. A tiny piece of Freya, and now, with that piece missing, I find myself unable to trust a man to the same extent. I think. I think he took my naivety away. The ability to just say “fuck it and trust someone.”
Ethan stares at me. I’m so afraid of what he will say, but, to my surprise, he says nothing. His lips remain sealed while his large, warm hands begin to gently massage my foot, his thumbs working out tension I didn’t even know I had. Is this his way of trying to make me feel better?
I keep my eyes on him, baffled even when he speaks.
“Feel good?” he asks.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. Ethan continues his magic, occasionally glancing up at me through his lashes. The documentary drones on in the background, completely forgotten. It’s just Ethan and I sitting in silence until he finally decides to part his lips.
“I’m very young
I release a snort. Thank you, I know.”
1 expect him to laugh, but he looks offended, almost. It’s confusing since he also appears to be amused.
“I was going to say that it doesn’t mean I’m stupid or immature or that I lack emotions. I do not.
My nose wrinkles, “Why are you making it sound as if I accused you of lacking emotions!”
“Because while you haven’t said i 1. you act like it, Freya,” he says in a grumpy tone. “In fact, you act as if the only thing I’m capable of offering you is
Those eyelashes flicker when he looks at me again. “It hurt trusting men after what Bark—”
thurts, and yes, I know you’re newly divorced, and yes, I get that y
you’re having trouble
“Clark
“Clark,” he makes a face before continuing, “Anyway where was I Fuck I can’t remember. The point I was trying to make is that your ex–husband h a heartless bastard. Trust me, I won’t make the same mistakes he did. Do you know why? Because I’m not him. I’m Ethan Steele, and while I have
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Chapter 115
no idea where this thing between us is head
headed, I would never cheat on you or betray your
r trust like he did
I stare at Ethan, my mouth hanging open in shock. Did he just… No, there’s no way. I must have misheard him.
“You like me!” I squeak out, my voice embarrassingly high–pitched
Ethan’s brow furrows. “Of course I like you. I thought that was obvious”
“Onous!” I repeat dumbly. “How was it obvious!”
He looks at me like I am crazy. “Freya, I took you on a yacht date. I let you catch me half–naked and dripping wet. I’m sitting here watching a documentary about penguin mating rituals while massaging your feet. I even made penguin noises for you, for crying out loud. What part of that screams I’m not interested to you?”
Igape at him, which makes him groan in frustration.
“Fucking hell you’re still not getting it. He starts massaging my foot angrily: “What more do I need to do, skywrite ‘Ethan hearts Freya‘ above the city
Ethan likes me. Like, really likes me. This isn’t just a hookup or a fling–this is romance. Actual romance,
I feel my face heating up before uttering “Oh,” while feeling like the world’s biggest idiot.
How did I miss all the signs???
Ethan’s fingers dig into my foot a little too hard as he grumbles, “Oh! That’s all you have to say? “Oh“?”
I wince. “Ow! Easy on the foot. Penguin Boy
He immediately loosens his grip, looking contrite. “Sorry. I just how could you not know how I felt
I shrug helplessly. “I don’t know! I thought maybe you were just being nice. Or that it was a game to you.”
“A game?” Ethan’s eyebrows shoot up. “Freya, I don’t play games. Not with people I care about
sty heart does a little flip at his words. “You care about me?”
-you think I would have given you a job if I didn’t?”
“Or help you steal food and makeup from the grocery store even though I’m a freaking billionaire!”
I blink rapidly, processing Ethan’s words. “I wow. Okay. So you actually
ually like me. As in, like–like me.” Erhan chuckles, his thumbs still working magic on my foot. “Yes, Freya I like–like y “Hey, don’t judge my vocabulary,” I protest weakly. “My brain is still trying to catch up here.”
you. What are we in middle school!”
His eyes soften. Take all the time you need. I’m not going an
anywhere”
And isn’t that just the sweetest don’t care that I’m an idiot. He is giving me time. There’s no stopping the sniffing, and when the first one comes out, Ethan’s eyes widen in alarm thing anyone’s ever said to met I feel a lump forming in my throat, overwhelmed by everything. Ethan likes me. He
“Woah, are you crying”
“No–no–no, please don’t cry,” Ethan looks around frantically, his eyes locking on the TV, “think about penguins! Think
how cute they are!”
Oh my god, he might be rich, but he is an idiot, too–we might be made for each other after all kindred souls, here we go! “Penguins aren’t going to stop me from crying, your dork,” I say through my tears, but a watery laugh escapes me. I’m having fun.
Ethan is fun
My heart swells, and I giggle when I realize Ethan m
must be super confused. He looks so last, kind of like a puppy who’s just been scolded and doesn’t know why. It’s adorable and only makes me cry harder since he really is trying to make me feel good.
Is there a sweeter guy out there!
I think
“Freya, please,” Ethan begs, abandoning my foot to scoot closer. His hands hover awkwardly like he wants to touch me but isn’t sure if he should “Tell me what to do. Do you want me to leave! Should I call Maddie I could go get more muffiny-
1 shake my head, wiping at my eyes. “No, don’t go. I just… I’m not used to this”
To what?” he asks gently.
“To someone caring about me, I admit in a small voice. “To someone putting me first.”
