Under the Skin
Emory
A potted plant flies across the room and ps halfway before reaching me. It falls to the floor, scattering glass, dirt, and tulips. everywhere. I stare in shock at Willow who is standing by the window. I hadn’t expected to have something thrown at me.
“Sorry,” she says. “I thought you were Rainer.”
“That’s how you greet him?”
“He’s annoying. He deserves it.”
“Have you tried using words instead of breaking things?” I ask, moving around the mess on the floor to approach her. “There’s less clean up.”
“Talking with Rainer just makes me more upset. He lives to be the bane of my existence.”
That’s a title Rainer probably enjoys having.
I reach Willow and stop a few feet from her. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come see you. Kane and Rainer both thought you needed space after what happened a few days ago.”
“You mean where I was dragged back here without my consent and forced to relive all of my trauma?” she offers sarcastically. ” Why would I need time to process that?”
“I’m truly sorry about everything. I had no idea about the witch hunts, except for what you told me, and I wasn’t sure how much of that was real,” I tell her. “What you’ve been through is truly unspeakable. I am so sorry.”
+25 BONUS
She crosses her arms over her chest, a sign she doesn’t want to be held or touched in any way. “I don’t know why you’re apologizing. You and your kind have never done anything to me. All of that happened long before you were born.
“I know, but I don’t know what else to say. I wish I could do something to make it better, but I know I can’t.”
She turns away, swallowing heavily. With her back to me, she sniffs as she wipes at her face. Her whole frame starts shaking as sobs overcome her. I watch helplessly, wanting to comfort her but not wanting to overstep Willow’s boundaries.
“I haven’t cried in decades,” she says. “I tried to bury it deep down until I never thought about it, but it’s all out in the open again.”
“It makes you feel raw?” I ask. “Like you’ve had your skin peeled off?”
She turns to me, her wet eyes wide in disbelief. “How do you know how that feels?”
“I may not know exactly what you feel, but I’ve been through a war too. We lost good men because of my father’s lies. There are losses we can never recuperate from. And no one wants to talk about it because it’s too hard. I also know what it’s like to feel
betrayed and trapped.”
She stares at me, unspeaking.
Not wanting to make this about myself, I conclude, “You’re allowed to feel however you feel. No one can dictate that for you. It doesn’t matter if it happened yesterday or a thousand years ago.”
“I thought I had gotten over it,” she explains. “I could pretend it was
all just a bad dream. Then the reality of it all hit me, and it
overwhelmed me ”
“Have you ever talked to anyone about this?”
Willow shakes her head. “I was hiding hat I was, remember? No one could know what I’ve been throug I could be in danger.”
“All those years of keeping all this hurt in can’t have been healthy
or easy
“Now that I don’t have to hide anything anymore, I feel so much. I feel too much. I’m angry, I’m sad, and I’m relieved–sometimes all at once. I don’t know how anyone can feel alll of this and not go
insane.”
“It’s understandable if you go a little bit insane. No one will blame you.”
“I think I have.” She goes to the bed and takes a seat AT NIE TOOL Of it “After I was first turned, I wanted to escape his case and rever look back
Then what happened?”
1 was too weak at first to try to run away. Sol becare part of TE castle staff, and got to know all of them. These people who l would have never have even talked to when was a witch became my friends. I fell in love with all of ten
Tunderstand.”
The same thing happened to me. Whenamed at Casie Graystone as a feeder, I was terrified and alone. Then grew attached to the people, and can’t see this pace the same mey Even when I fait like I couldn’t possibly connect with an ey
had snuck in and made me care about them.
“Gaus was like a father to me.” Willow continues. “He was kind
and patient. He let me borrow as many books as I wanted from the library. He didn’t care that I wasn’t a noble only that I needed the escapism found in those books.”
Tm sorry you lost him.”
I never met the former librarian, but from how Willow describes. him he sounds like a kind soul. I’m sure she doesn’t care for King Michael any more knowing that he’s the one who had him put to
“For many years, he could tell that there was something that upset me, but he never pushed. He wanted me to tell him when I was ready. I never told him about any of it, but I wish I had.”
I take the initiative to go to Willow and sit on the bed next to her, taking her hand in mine. I don’t mind her cold touch. She doesn’t shy away from me.
“Timm here for you. If you ever want to talk, I’ll always be willing to listen.
Her pale blue eyes look over my face, trying to find any insincerity.” Why do you care about how I feel? This isn’t your war. You have no part in any of this.”
The people I love are part of this war, so it matters to me. You mater to me because you’re a person I consider a friend,” I say. ” You will still matter to me even if you choose not to fight in this war. My friendship isn’t contingent on it.”
She shakes her bead. “I can’t fight for this kingdom, not after all
Eve endured.
