grometer
She’s not the one I need to talk to
wilow
There is a knock at the door lepect it to be Rainer, coming to annoy me again. I heard Emory has left the kingcom for business, so it can’t be her. It might be Loa wanting to discuss books with me again.
Instead, it’s the last person I expect to see. King Kane enters my room, looking more comte tran live ever thought him capable of. I try to go to the bathroom and look myself in there until he leaves. He raises a hand to stop me.
“Plesse” he says. 1 just need to talk to you. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but I need you to hear this.”
cross my ans over my chest, wanting to feel some kind of armor. I don’t feel safe with him. I look at him, and I see King Michael. His father was a cold, cruel men. While the other vampires have always worshipped his memory, I know what the old king truly was.
That makes me pause
Tm sorry for what happened to you and what happened to all the other witches” he continues, his expression pained. “What my father did was
unforgivable. None of you deserved it. I should have stopped it. I should have said something, but I didn’t because I was so young, and he was the king.”
Of all the things I expect to hear from him, that isn’t it.
“You’re sorry?” I question. “After all this time?” He’d made similar statements before, but now I can see he means it. He’s not just trying to convince me of something.
“I tried not to think about the witch hunts because I was ashamed. I looked up to my father, but he did monstrous acts. I couldn’t make peace with these two opposing sides of him. And I know it’s not an excuse, but I need you to know, for all I have been a party to, I truly am so sorry.”
I feel too much; the wave of emotions is threatening to break me. Anger, disbelief, sorrow, and a bittersweet respite that finally somebody is acknowledging what happened to my people.
But can I truly forgive them? Do I have it in me to be able to absolve all the wrongs against my people? Is it even my place to do so? I have lived longer as a vampire than a witch. Do I even have the say to give absolution for something I hadn’t been for a very long time?
“You don’t need to forgive me,” Kane tells me. “Whatever you feel is yours to feel, and no one can take that from you.”
A skeptical voice in me that has kept me alive warns me this is just a ploy to get me to be more agreeable. “Are you only saying this because you want me to fight in your war?”
“No,” he replies. “I will not pressure you to fight for Crimson Peak if you decide not to do so. I owe it to you. You should have the power to choose for yourself.”
“I…” I swallow the tears threatening to escape me. I will not cry in front of him.” I don’t know if I can ever just let this go.”
“That’s fine.”
“But thank you. I didn’t know I needed you to apologize so sincerely.”
He nods. “I will leave you to your privacy. And if there is anything you need from me, please let me know.”
*35 BOM
Kane leaves my room. As soon as the door shuts behind him, I collapse on my bed, my knees no longer able to keep me up. I feel hollowed out, all my
emotions drained from me. I can’t even cry.
250S
Happy Birthday, Emory
Emory
don’t immediately return to Crimson Peak. I take a few days to iron out the alliances with the other Alphas before they return to their villages. All the excitement from the previous days finally hits me, and in to rest. My mother calls for a pack healer to come to the mansion for a check–up since the doctor I have been seeing is all the way back at Castle Graystone.
I have known the pack heler since I was a child. Collins was the healer that delveres Cat and L. And he and my mother have worked together over the years. Seeing a familiar face is a comfort despite my worsening health. He has no experience dealing with hybrid babies, but no one does.
The checkup seems to be going well until he starts asking questions. “How far along are you supposed to be?”
Four months, almost five
His dark eyebrows furrow. “Are you sure? From what I’ve seen, you’re a lot for her along than that”
That makes me look to my mom in worry. She comes over from where she’s standing and places a comforting hand on my shoulder.
What do you mean?” I inquire. “Is something wrong with the baby?”
“The child is larger than what it should be at four months. I won’t be able to see dearly without an ultrasound, but the fetus being larger than it should be might point to underlying health concerns”
Ts it possible you’re further along than you think?” my mom asks.
e can’t be, I was a virgin before Kane and I…” I blush, embarrassed I have to explain this to my mother. There was no one else before him, and we hadn’t been intimate until a little over four months ago.”
“Could we have an ultrasound done?” my mom asks the healer.
don’t have the machine with me. We could schedule you to come to the
Tit be back in Crimson Peak soon,” I explain. “I can have Dr. Martin do the ultrasound, and we can see what’s going on.”
Collins doesn’t argue with me over that. He asks me more questions about my symptoms. He’s looking over my chart and poli jut, “Your twenty–first birthday is this weekend.”
Mortified, I cover my face with my hands “I completely forgot.”
My mother shakes her head. “I can’t believe I forgot too. I gave birth to you.”
“This year has just been a lot,” I say. “The pregnancy, taking over as Alpha, and Scarlett Thunder…”
“It’s all right. You’ve had to juggle a lot,” Mom reminds me.
“The tiredness, the fever, and aches can be attributed to your body getting ready to shift,” the healer explains. “The changes in your body could have worsened your pregnancy symptoms.”
“Is there anything I need to do?”
Fear grips my heart as the thought of shifting while pregnant is taking over. Most miscarriages happen because of women shifting while pregnant. The body contorting and breaking is not good for the baby. Now that I know something might be wrong with my pregnancy, shifting feels like a death
sentence.
“I can prescribe something to bring down your fever, but otherwise, lots of fluids and rest before you shift,” he advises. “And if something happens during or after the shift, call me right away.”
I follow the healer’s advice and try to rest. It’s hard not to worry as my birthday draws near. I tell Kane over the phone, and he wants to come be with me for the shift, but I prefer that he stay in Crimson Peak. He can’t help me during the shift. It would be better to send for hte doctor, but I won’t. The healer will be my best bet if I need help.
My mother is going to be there with me for the shift. Coit and some of our pack members will be nearby to help if needed. I have been waiting for this day to come for years, eagerly anticipating meeting my wolf. There are a lot of
only will being able to shift help me in battle, 1
mere quackly once have my wolf
here to be alone for this When my mother wasn’t speaking to
ad have to be alone for my first shift. It’s a terrifying and
‘ relieved i’ll be surrounded by my pack
fex days in bed, trying to rest up and tak e healer’s advice.
The morning of my birthday, Mother brings me the phone. I’m delighted to hear Kate’s voice in my ear.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to be there?” he asks.
TE have my mom with me. She’s guided people through their first shifts before, and she’ll call the pack healer if anything happens.”
“I can’t help but worry. I heard that it’s especially dangerous when you’re pregnant”
“I’m trying not to think about it,” I confess. “It’s not something I can delay or prevent from happening.”
Shifting forms is a part of our biological makeup. Those that try to stop themselves from changing end up hurting themselves. There are tonics and what–not people have drank, but that will be even more dangerous for the baby It’s not a pleasant experience the first time, but it usually doesn’t hurt.
“I wish I could do more for you,” Kane tells me. “I feel powerless that I’m over here, and you might be over there in pain.”
was always going to shift. It’s what I am. What I need you to do is to just go through your day and trust that I’ll be back in Crimson Peak by Monday.”
He sighs. “I love you.”
I grasp the phone with both hands wishing I could touch Kane instead. “I love
you too.
“Happy Birthday, Emory.”
The phone call ends quickly after that. I want to cry as I miss him so much. I do wish he was here with me as his strength and reliability have gotten me through so much this year. He has been my rock, and it’s hard to be away from
him when I am the most vulnerable.
I try not to focus on what’s coming tonight and ruin my day. I’m going to do my best to enjoy my birthday. The servants prepared a nice breakfast with all my favorite food. My family and I spend the day together playing board games and recalling childhood memories.
The only one missing is Lola, but I would rather my sister stay in Crimson Peak
closer and instead of worrying about me during my shift. My family is there for me despite everything that has happened with Bernard. We have gro
prioritized each other over the incidents that divided us before.
After beating us in most of the board games, Mom brings out presents for me. I can tell which one is from Coit as it’s the one wrapped messily with too much tape on it. There are a few from the pack and even from the Alphas. I’m surprised to see presents from Kane, Rainer, and the staff from Castle Graystone.
“King Kane had the gifts sent over this morning,” my mom explains. “You should open them.”
Coit has gifted me a personalized wax seal stamp with my initials wrapped in our family logo of a crescent moon. My mom’s gift is a tennis bracelet that belonged to my maternal grandmother. Rainer has gifted me a dagger set in an ornate bejeweled scabbard. The gifts from the pack and the Alphas are a mix of jewelry, clothes, and even money. The gifts from the Castle Graystone servants are more modest with hand knitted scarves and baby clothes.
I leave Kane’s present for last. When I finally open it, I can’t help but wish he was here with me. It’s a set of emeralds that match my eyes perfectly. I lift up a set of pear shaped earrings and a necklace. They’re beautiful. I can’t help admire the light reflecting off the gems.
“King Kane has good taste,” Mom remarks.
“He does.” I give her and Coit my best smile, feeling full of gratitude but still sad about who is not here. “Thank you for today and the gifts. I’m glad I’m home.”
My mom takes my hand in hers. “I’ve been waiting for years for this day. It’s not how I had imagined it to be, but I am so proud of you.”
Tears well in my eyes. Thanks, Mom.
I plan to call Kane tomorrow and thank him for the gifts. I know I am too concerned with the shift that night to think about much of anything else. I’m too distracted to even eat dinner. Restlessness rumbles through me as I watch the sun go down from my bedroom window.
My skin feels overheated and tingly like ants are crawling all er my skin. My joints ache like I’ve been overworking my body. There’s a thrumming in my blood as if something is waiting deep inside of me for what’s to come.
I have always wondered about my wolf and what she will look like. Everyone’s wolf is different. There are different beliefs about what influences our coloring and traits. Most say it’s genetics, but it’s hard to predict what a wolf will be like until it emerges.
When the moon begins to appear in the sky, Mom comes to my room. She stays by the doorway trying to be as strong and supportive for me as she can be. She asks, “Are you ready?”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
I’m terrified, but there’s no point focusing on that. I move toward the doorway, and my mom takes my hand, guiding me down the hallway and down the stairs. We make our way to the forests outside the house, the place I spent my childhood exploring. The forests are as much my home as the mansion.
Coit and the pack are nearby making sure we will be safe. But right now, I prefer some privacy. I look up at the moon and feel an involuntary shiver go through me. My heart beats like a drum in my chest. I want to run away, but there’s no escaping my fate.
“It’ll be all right,” my mom reassures me as she helps me undress. “You are a Moonraker, descended from generations of Alphas. Those that came before you have shifted in this forest. You were born for this.”
I hold onto my mother’s words as I stand naked in the forest. The only light is from the mansion’s windows far behind us and the moon above us. The waiting is terrible. All my nerve endings are anticipating potential pain. I’m more afraid for my baby than anything else.
The first jolt of feels like I’ve been hit by a hot poker. My bones begin to break in unnatural angles, reshaping themselves into a new form. I hold my breath in terror, unable to stop what’s happening to me. My mom urges me to lie down on the ground so I don’t fall and hurt myself.
I claw at the dirt underneath me as I feel my nails lengthen and curve into claws. My skin feels like it’s heating up. I can feel my spine protruding, my ribs expanding, and my legs beginning to bow,
It doesn’t hurt too much, but it’s such a strange sensation. I hold my breath.
I remember my baby. The child has barely lived, but might die as my body breaks itself.
“Mama,” I beg. “My baby!”
She kneels beside me, her eyes worried and sad. “It’ll be okay, Emory.”
I close my eyes as my spine reforms itself, and I can’t move, my face pressed to the ground. My body is taken over by natural forces, and there is no escape.
After several minutes, I can’t talk anymore. My vocal cords have been rearranged, forcing me to endure the shift in silence or through the mind–link. All I can focus on is the dirt underneath me. How many different ways can my body wreck itself before it’s done?
And then it stops.
